Tag: Faith in God

When GOD Says 

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“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah‬ ‭43:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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Isaiah 43:19 is my life verse for the year. Might be the life verse for my LIFE, we’ll see. I’ve discovered that when God leads you down an unexpected path, you have to press in and find the good. You have to seek the new thing God is doing, else you’ll miss out on realizing His amazing grace.

This post may be a bit all over the place, but I want to share the story of my season at the end of 2015. It’s captured through the following words which I journaled on New Year’s Eve:

2015 was a good year, but the period between November 13 and December 10 will go down not only as the highlight of the year, but as the season of my life so far.

On Friday, November 13, I found out I was pregnant! From then to December 10 — what a journey. The nausea, tiredness, thoughts about the direction of my life from that point forward, etc. — it was happy, hard, exciting. Then, as quickly as it all seemed to have come, it was soon over. On December 8 at my first prenatal appointment, the doctors could find no heartbeat in the six-week-old life inside me.

So many feelings, so many thoughts. When it finally hit me, I was crushed. I’d gotten used to, and even embraced, a life without children, but now that we were truly without this wonderful surprise that had come our way, it was the worst feeling ever.

On December 10, I had the surgery to remove the fetal contents of my uterus. I wish I’d thought to say a prayer just before or say good-bye, but I didn’t. I was given a two-week recovery time after the 10th, and I allowed myself to heal, feel, be emotional, whatever it took and was needed to get through. After the two weeks, I just pressed through to now, the end of the year.

It’s amazing how I could fall in love with a six-week-old being. But in all of my life, I’ll never know of a greater earthly love, nor will there ever be a greater earthly loss than what was at the end of 2015.

The next day, January 1, 2016, the first part of my journal entry was this:

2016 has started, and I must stand in this new day, much as I wish I could hold onto the latter days of 2015. I’m in pursuit of the “why” of that season — why it came generally, the timing of it, my thoughts and feelings during it, and the abrupt ending of it. Every day I’ll be looking for these answers…

What has pursuing “why” brought so far? I do know that even with loss, I count it ALL a blessing! God chose my husband and me to be the source of life for an angel, and I’m thankful for that.

Next, I was reminded that believers are called to put total trust in God. It’s His will, when He says. When we were married, my husband and I left it up to God as to whether we’d have children. When pregnancy wasn’t happening, we didn’t allow our hope to wane, but put our focus on our nieces and nephews, and were thankful to be able to love and enjoy and support them. But when GOD says, Let there be, it will be! And tough as it may be, when HE says it’s done, it’s done.

Lastly, God brought me to His Word and the life verse above. I remember feeling the need to purge in the weeks following the miscarriage. I went through clothes, books, and other belongings and threw away or gave away things I didn’t want or need. I shut down all of my social media accounts, took a blog break, cleaned out email folders, paper files, etc. Even spiritually I was letting go of old thoughts, people connections, saved Bible teachings and studies that weren’t food for me any longer… I mean I needed to do this. Looking back, I realize I was starting over. I was beginning to forget the former things (Isaiah 43:18), and was daring to believe there was a new path ahead of me.

Is starting over easy? No. To be honest, I’m still seeking, still pursuing the why. I don’t know if God will impart anymore to me than what He has already, but I pray to have a spirit ready to receive. Here at the start of 2016 I’m focused on physical healing, but I remain so grateful for that season in 2015.

Remember: It’s about when GOD says, even if it’s meant to include a loss. His will is perfect, His love is abounding, and His grace is amazing.

God has brought us all through our various seasons. I pray these words have encouraged you to keep pressing through to the new!

Guest Post: “Me? A Snooty Church Lady?”

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For man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. 1 Samuel‬ ‭16:7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

I’m happy to introduce you to Hope Venetta, woman of faith and blogger who shares her journey through her posts at hopevenetta.com. I “met” Hope via social media and COMPEL, then had the pleasure of connecting with her in person at the She Speaks 2015 Conference in July. She has a beautiful spirit, and her words are very life-touching, I’ve found, particularly as they relate to ministry. I’m glad to feature one of her posts as part of the New Day September series on the highlights of She Speaks….

Me? A Snooty Church Lady?

Have you ever been humbled by how God chose to show you your sin and bless you at the same time? One Sunday after church, my husband Tom and I debated whether it fit into our budget to go out for lunch or cook at home. We are trying to save money and pay down some debt. Clearly going out for lunch doesn’t exactly fit with that plan, so after going round and round about being disciplined, and saving, and Dave Ramsey, we somehow ended up at a sandwich shop. As it turned out, we were in exactly the right place for a divine appointment.

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When Tom placed his order, a tough looking woman standing behind me in line tapped me on the arm. As I turned towards her, she offered me a slip of paper. Now I usually don’t take things from random strangers, but I felt a prompting to accept it from her. I was fully expecting it to be an advertisement for a local business, some kind of donation request, or information about an event at a nightclub. It was none of those. It was a coupon for a free sandwich. When I realized what it was, my every intention was to hand it back to her. People in my city can be very neighborly, but I didn’t want to accept this random act of kindness from her. Not her. Not this woman who looked and sounded like a cast member of Orange is the New Black. I took a breath, ready to tell her why I couldn’t accept the coupon, and for some reason I couldn’t speak. Her face that looked as if she had indeed seen rough times, also looked so pleased to have been of service. I couldn’t take that away from her by refusing her kind gesture.

As I ordered my sandwich, something rose in my spirit. Something in me wanted to reach out. I wanted to engage her, to start a dialog, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t seem to get over myself and find common ground with her. Dressed in a hoodie and jeans, with thick cornrows in her hair, I am ashamed to admit that I judged this woman by her dress and demeanor. As I listened to her conversation behind me, I actually had the audacity to think I was better than her because of my cute church outfit, my knowledge of correct grammar usage, and my own perception that my rank was above her in the socioeconomic strata. To me she looked like and sounded like a thuggish woman who was straight out of the cast of Orange is the New Black. Yet, God was using her to meet a financial need of mine by covering an unplanned frivolous expense. Because of my pride and snooty attitude, I could scarcely look her in the eye as I thanked her. I actually thanked her several times, and not once could I make an eye to eye connection. So much judgement in my heart. Even though I was the one being helped.

Tom and I left the sandwich shop and went to a park to eat our lunch. Before we said grace over our meal, we looked at each other across the picnic table and marveled at how God is proving himself be our provider. Yes, this time it was only the cost of a sandwich, but that is beside the point. It seemed like a gentle reminder from God that He is who He says he is and that He does not change. That He is a provider. That He is not a respecter of persons. That His blessings come in unexpected packages – even in the form of thuggish looking women who look and sound like they just got out of prison.

It is clear that I have more work to do to overcome pride and a judgmental spirit. I thank God for the opportunity to grow and become the woman He created me to be. I am also thankful that He is teaching me what a blessing it can be to allow others to express their gifts. By me accepting that coupon, it allowed the other woman to experience generosity. Despite my preoccupation with my own mental baggage, I did notice that she had a look of self-respect and the good kind of pride, knowing that she was helping someone. I could not let my self-importance take that away from her by rejecting her offering. Who knows, perhaps that was her sacrifice to God. Her giving of herself with no expectation of a return. God is amazing and can use all kinds of circumstances to accomplish His purposes.

He is so great, and I am so blessed that He loves me and has adopted me into His family, flaws and all.

How about you? Have your blessings come in unexpected packages?

Hope is a follower of Christ, wife to Tom, fledgling gardener, and all-around, wannabe, domestic diva. She blogs about living an authentic, Christ-centered life at www.hopevenetta.com. (Photo credit: Melchee Johnson)

Remembering Friends

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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven… (‭Eccles‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬ KJV)

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I wasn’t planning to write this particular post this week, but sometimes we find our plans changed. Sometimes a day may bring news that shocks us to our core. So is life. So is God.

I have to admit that I’m not always the best at receiving change. I’m an organizer, very task-oriented, and a very keep-to-my-calendar type of person, even in casual settings. If I could plan texts I receive in a day, I would. That’s not good, is it? Don’t judge.

The biggest change to grapple, I think we all could agree, is when we find ourselves suddenly without someone. When death happens, that’s it. Someone isn’t here earthly any longer. When my grandmother’s days were limited and we knew she was dying, I had to wrap my mind around that moment that would come, when we’d receive the news that that’s it. It’s over. Done. She’s not coming back. It’s hard.

So I find myself as of the writing of this post realizing the recent deaths of friends. Change again. Though they weren’t family and though I didn’t see them daily, they’re still not here. Someone is without them, and I know they’re hurting.

In the midst of the heaviness felt when death comes, I pray for those who remain. For comfort, yes, but mostly, that an acknowledgement of God will come – to honor Him in believing that His will is supreme, and to thank Him for keeping His promise to those now gone.

Our times are ordered by God. No one arrives or leaves until He wills it. But before the leaving happens (and we never know when it will), love those He’s given you. Enjoy them, appreciate them. Remember them.

For Clyde, Mable, Shepard.

Photo credit: Melchee Johnson