Can my purpose be bigger than my pain?

by Pat Richardson
On May 16, 2021, I lost my daughter, Kristian Monet Richardson, in an automobile accident. Krissy was 23 and in the prime of her life, and there was nothing that could have prepared me for that call from her friends on that Sunday evening.

My life changed forever, and my new norm isn’t what I wanted at all. Losing Krissy left a hole in my heart, my life, my being, all that’s unexplainable to anyone but God. Sometimes I don’t think he understands what I’m saying to him about Krissy’s transition, as I call it, but just when I start to go down that rabbit hole, God presents just the right message to encourage me, and I understand. He loves me and he will not forsake me during this tragedy in my life, and if no one else understands the loss of a child, God does.


I remember so vividly the day Krissy came home from East Carolina University for summer break telling me she needed to do a summer project for her social work class. She knew exactly what she wanted to do and how to help. I sat down and listened to Krissy explain what she wanted to do and with the organization she had grown up with since the tenth grade in high school. Yes, the YMCA Chapel Hill-Carrboro was the organization through which she wanted to make an impact. She saw the need and wanted to make a difference. And she did–one child at a time.

Fast forward a few years later and my life is devastated with my loss of Krissy, and not only my life but my family, her friends, and the community. So many people loved Krissy and her loss affected many. We all have dealt with our pain in different ways over the past almost three years, with mine ranging from counseling to my faith to creating a legacy nonprofit in Krissy’s name. Monet Richardson Community Foundation is like a double-edge sword for me sometimes. I am so thankful God gives me strength each day to be able to tell Krissy’s story of philanthropy, caring for those she loved and having a heart of giving back. I guess that’s why she chose the career of social work.

“Each day is different, and I tell myself to take it one day at a time.”


Telling Krissy’s story is not easy at all. Each time I share it I relive a portion of May 16, 2021, all over again. I try to focus on the person Krissy was in my storytelling while sometimes shedding tears. Some shed tears with me as they can’t fathom what it feels like to lose a child, and I pray they never do.

Can my purpose be bigger than my pain? On some days yes, on some days no. Each day is different, and I tell myself to take one day at a time. Easier said than done; however, I ask God to help me through the journey that is my path to walk and no one else’s. I pray my purpose is achievable and I can continue to help the youth in our communities who need our support. I often say, Krissy, I know you are smiling and seeing the work your mom and others are doing to continue your legacy. We hope you are proud. I ask God to give me peace, courage, and strength. I humble myself during the week and say to God, I know Krissy is not larger than you and we are not worshipping Krissy, but you, God. Keep me focused on my goal to help others and enjoy the work ahead of me. Allow me the sensibility to take the moment for myself and know when I’ve done all I can. I turn it over to you, God. Make my pain less than my purpose while allowing me to remember my daughter, Krissy, and her amazing being. God, you created an amazing person. Thank you.

Pat Richardson is the founding Executive Director of the Monet Richardson Community Foundation. Read more about their mission and work here, and listen to the full interview with Pat on New Day LIVE! here.
Photos: courtesy of Pat Richardson and used with permission.